


Here We Go

by Caedmon



Series: Amelioration in Budapest [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apologies, Clint Feels, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Natasha Feels, Natasha Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-05
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-11 21:33:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caedmon/pseuds/Caedmon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natasha finds Clint in Budapest and confronts him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here We Go

**Author's Note:**

> _ублюдок! - Bastard!_

“Why are you here, Clint?”

Natasha’s eyes were narrowed and her body had gone perfectly still after she pocketed the keycard to his room. She studied Clint’s face, her eyes flicking from his eyes to his smiling mouth and back up. 

“God, it’s good to see you, Tasha.” He was beaming. He just couldn’t help himself.

Her body tensed visibly at the use of his pet name for her, and he immediately regretted it. “Answer me, Barton. Why are you here?”

 _Oh, hell._ She was addressing him by his last name. Natasha never dropped that bomb outside of work unless he’d really pissed her off. Clint sighed inwardly; he really shouldn’t have been surprised.

“Natasha, I came here to apologize, and to make things right between us.”

“You don’t need to apologize. So you can leave now.”

“Nat…”

“All you did was open my eyes to truths I’d been blind to. I should actually thank you for what you did. Thanks to you, I’m not living a lie anymore. I know where I stand with everyone, and I appreciate that. So thank you, and I hope you have a safe flight back.”

She turned to leave, dismissing him totally. “Nat, wait…”

Clint reached out for her shoulder and she twisted his wrist, taking him to his knees by the arm in less than a second. He looked up at her, knowing that she could break his arm with one simple motion. Natasha’s eyes were livid, flashing emeralds. Clint held her gaze, ready to take whatever punishment she gave him. 

Clint’s shoulder began to hurt as time ticked by. Seconds, minutes, hours - Clint didn’t know actually how long - but he was preparing to speak, to say something, when he saw her eyes soften, then grow wet. Clint’s body sagged as he watched her lip tremble and the tears spill. When he spoke, his voice was a prayer, a soft prayer for absolution. 

“Tasha…”

Natasha threw his arm away, releasing the hold. “ _ублюдок_!” She turned away and covered her face, crying softly. Clint rolled his shoulder once as he stood, then pulled her into his chest, holding her close.

“Natasha…Nat. I’m so sorry, I’m just so fucking sorry.”

“I hate you, Clint.”

“I know, sweetheart. I deserve it.”

“You’re a bastard.”

“I know. I’m so goddamn sorry, Tasha.”

She sobbed into his shirt as he whispered apologies into her hair, stroking her back. She said very little, calming eventually and snuffling quietly. Clint thought his heart would explode with joy when she shifted to wrap her arms around his waist.

“I missed you so much, Nat.”

“No, you didn't.”

“I did. It was a living hell not being in control of my own mind. It was worse not having the one thing that could comfort me. Oh, Tasha,” he kissed the top of her head quickly and gave her a little squeeze, “I can’t even tell you how much I wanted you with me.”

She pushed away from him and he fought the urge to grab her and pull her back. Instead, he took in the sight of her. She was beautiful, radiant, even with her smudged makeup and red nose. He missed her warmth against him and reached out to pull her back, stopping himself just in time. He settled for taking her hand, surprised that she let him. 

“Natasha, I know that I’m an asshole for even hoping that you might forgive me one day, and I’m not asking you to forgive me now. All I’m asking is for you to let me stay for a while. I want to try to mend us. You are the most valuable part of my life. You and me, we’re a secret society, remember?” He kissed her fingers lightly. “I want to try to make our friendship not just a memory. I think underneath all of this wreckage, a part of us is still there now. I have no right to ask, but I think we’re salvageable. Please.” 

Natasha looked down at their joined hands for a while, watching his thumb stroke the back of her hand. He waited her out, wondering at her thoughts, knowing from years of experience that pushing Natasha Romanov for an answer never really went well. 

At length, she spoke. “You can come by in the morning. We’ll talk.” She looked up at him and a metallic glint caught Clint’s eye as she continued, “I’m not sure this is fixable, Clint.” 

“I’m going to try my damndest, Tasha.”

~*~

Natasha hadn't specified what she meant by ‘morning.’ He knew that she was an early riser and she’d been here almost three months, surely she was off east coast time. He decided to shoot for 8am, and set out of the hotel at 7:15 to pick up the things he wanted before he got to the safehouse. 

Clint found a bakery and bought a half dozen gooey-looking buns drizzled with icing and nuts. He had no idea what they were, but Natasha had a wicked sweet tooth and a weakness for things like this that looked utterly sinful. Plus, it looked like it may be breakfast food and it smelled heavy and warm. Clint hoped she would share.

He set out towards the safehouse with spare time and passed a flower vendor a block away. On impulse, he stopped. _Can’t hurt, right?_ He looked around for yellow, Tasha’s favorite color. She never wore it because she said it clashed too much with her skin and hair (he never thought she looked bad in any color), but Clint knew she loved it and gravitated toward the bright, sunny color whenever she had the choice. 

He picked out a selection of yellow flowers and asked the vendor to make a bouquet with them, and to add in a little purple. Maybe that would soften her to him. He pulled out his phone and sent a text as the vendor made change, then took the flowers and walked the last block to the house. 

Clint was surprised to find that his heart rate was elevated and his hands clammy around the flowers and box that held the buns. _What the hell?_ He wasn’t a teenager on his first date. This was Natasha. They knew everything about each other.

But they didn’t know everything about each other - she certainly didn’t know that he loved her. And he knew where his anxiety stemmed from - his happiness hinged on Natasha…on at least convincing her to forgive him. If there was a God, he could win more than that from her. If that happened, Clint honestly didn’t know what he would do, but he was quite sure it would involve celebrations that would seem excessive to most people. 

He felt like he had a shot. He’d spent the last four years telling himself that she could never love him, that he was alone in this one-sided romance. But then, last night, he’d seen that little arrow at the hollow of her throat. It may be presumptuous of him, but he could only think of one reason she would be wearing an arrow. The arrow and bullseye were symbolic of archers, and she didn’t really know any other archers. At least, he didn’t think she did. His heart rate spiked again. If she didn’t, that meant that she was wearing his mark around her neck, and the thought made him positively gleeful. He just had to not fuck this up. Not fucking up emotional things wasn't always his forte, but he was going to bust his ass to get this right. She was wearing his mark. _He had a shot._ And Clint never missed a shot.

He rang the bell to the safehouse.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you close your eyes as you walked away?  
> Did I get too close in the pouring rain?  
> If there's one more chance for us here tonight  
> I'll take the long way 'round this time
> 
> We sing - Oh, love, it's easy if you don't try to please me  
> If you don't want to see me any more  
> We sing out...
> 
> Oh, oh, Here we go again  
> I know how I lost a friend  
> We go 'round and 'round again  
> Oh, oh, Oh, oh
> 
> Bitter is the kiss that says goodbye  
> I can hear it in your voice, I see it in your eyes  
> 'Cause we've been this low and we've been around this bend  
> I don't want to lose you all over again
> 
> We sing - Oh, love, it's easy if you don't try to please me  
> If you don't want to see me any more  
> We sing out...
> 
> Oh, oh, Here we go again  
> I know how I lost a friend  
> We go 'round and 'round again  
> Oh, oh, Oh, oh
> 
> Around here, We've got a light here that's not going away  
> If all is broken, and all is lost  
> Then I've been found, So here's my heart  
> I'll give over and over again
> 
> It's a long road baby, running away
> 
> Here We Go - Mat Kearney


End file.
